If my jeans felt tight, it would even affect my mood. I wasn’t eating much and labeling the food I used to enjoy as “bad.”
It became uncomfortable eating around other people. I started making excuses and trying anything not to be social. This felt good in the moment, but left me with a lot of guilt. People started giving me compliments about my weight. This encouraged me to keep up my new image; but I was hungry. So I started to sneak food when no one was around.
Then my little habit of sneaking food turned into binge eating:
- I felt ashamed
- I felt unattractive
- I compared myself to others
- I began to hear that I looked unwell
It had become a never ending cycle. My lies were starting to hurt the ones I loved. I had been to therapy, support groups, and tried doing it on my own. This way of life wasn’t working, something needed to change.